6 things I’ve learned in my 20’s – Being an adult is something I’ve dreamed of since I was a kid. I used to think that being an adult was wonderful. Being an adult meant I could do everything I wanted. That was my thought, but now that I am an adult, I know how it really feels. Being an adult isn’t bad, but the truth is, I need to survive on my own. I need to trust myself in every aspect of my life—choosing a university and a major, selecting “real friends,” and most importantly, choosing myself.
But above all, I want to summarize six things I’ve learned in my 20s—the most unforgettable lessons, the ones that taught me the most.
- There is no perfect time to start
I tend to delay doing my tasks just because I’m not good enough at them or I’m a beginner at something I want to master. I’m afraid people are going to judge me. I worry about what others think of me—maybe they’ll think I’m cringe, weird, or something else. But now, you all can enjoy my writing, which means I’ve chosen to start my digital journey, or whatever you want to call it. It’s still scary for me because I’m using English, and my brain keeps telling me that there will be people acting as grammar police. But I convince myself that this is part of my growth too. I’m learning and will always be learning throughout my life. So, if I don’t start now, when will I?
- The only one who’s gonna be with you in every situation is yourself
It felt so sad when I realized that there is no one but myself who’s going to be with me in every situation. It’s so hard to accept that feeling when I feel like my world is falling apart and I can’t rely on anybody but myself. It’s also sad when all I need is just a hug, but I have nobody to hug me and tell me that “everything will be alright.” But the truth is, I have myself, who is never going to leave me. It’s myself who cheers me up when I want to do something spectacular; it’s myself who hugs and pats my head, telling me that the world doesn’t end just because all I have is myself.
- We’re all having different path in life, stop comparing
Social media is a game changer. I’m not blaming it, but the atmosphere feels really different since I started using it. People often share their accomplishments at my age or younger, which sometimes makes me feel a bit sad. I wonder, why can’t I do better like them? Why am I stuck here and not progressing? I always blame myself, not realizing that this is my first life too.
- Be wise about what you consume and what you say
I used to watch random videos and listen to sad music that actually brought bad energy for me—they all drained my energy. But I don’t mean that you guys can’t enjoy them. It’s just that they don’t match my energy. It doesn’t mean that if you are feeling sad, you can’t feel it by listening to sad songs or watching dramas with sad endings; just don’t fall too deeply into it.
- Feel the uncomfortable feelings
It all started when I moved out of my hometown. I needed to depend on myself (not financially), and even though my parents were still by my side, I didn’t want to make them sad by sharing my problems. As time went by, I learned that our emotions matter. My emotions are valid, and they are a part of myself. They are not wrong; they just want to be acknowledged—that I’m human too, feeling sad, happy, anxious, desperate, and so on. The feeling of discomfort is uncomfortable, but why do I ignore it? It only makes my future self hurt more.
- Accept who you truly are
People around me really act like “that Asian people,” iykyk. Back then, I often asked myself why they were doing that to me—judging my body appearance, judging my personality. All of me became their topic of conversation. At first, I ignored them and joined their laughter, even though they were actually laughing at me just because of who I am. It took a long time—really a long time—to accept who I am. Even now, I’m still trying to accept myself: how I look, my personality (and if there are bad traits, I need to change them), how I speak to others, and the words I choose when I speak. Life becomes beautiful when I accept myself and am grateful for what Allaah (God) has given me.
I believe we all learned something new in any phases of our life. Since we’re child we learned to walk, to read, to bike, etc. and we will always learned something until we turned gray.
So, are they saying the truth that in our 20s we’re going to go through the phase of a “quarter-life crisis”? For me, it’s not a crisis; it’s just a small part of our life that will shape us into the person we want to become. I want to be a better person and spread positivity, kindness, and ice cream :D. What about you guys?
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